My
Shining Star, Little Miko
by May Lim
Miko entered our lives on a bright sunny afternoon,
May 2000. Though her stay was merely a year and a half,
she has definitely brought us many happy memories and
joyous moments. Watching her grow, I should say leaves
us with very fond thoughts. The most heart-wrenching
moment was seeing her being taken very seriously ill.
What started with lots and lots of hopes on my side
to cure her made it even more difficult for me to make
that dreaded decision to have her euthanised. Miko fought,
very bravely, a 2 month long fight against pneumonia,
but finally gave in during the final stages.
Caring for little Miko then was no doubt heart-breaking,
but somehow the bond that she built with us became so
strong and I know that she could sense our love, sadness
and my unwillingness to let her go. Keeping her indoors
with us during her last 2 months, we could see our aloof
and loner changed into a more affectionate bunny, which
made it even more difficult for me to just let her go
without trying all sorts of methods to cure her. I just
have to do it! I must have Miko nursed back to health,
was what I told myself.
A local, Miko's black all over with a little cute white
stripe down her head. A shy, docile and loyal bunny,
she stole and melted our hearts instantly. Our little
girl was really elegant and constantly sat cross-legged
with lots of pride reflecting in her eyes. Often, she
would just lay down on the floor beside us, and quietly
watch the many funny movements we make while trying
to get pictures of her at different angles. I am glad
that we did take many many pictures and videos of Miko….
Beautiful memories I should say, but it also tugged
our heart-strings when we viewed them night after night
after her passing.
Always being the first one to jump down from her second
storey 'room' when she sensed that food was near, I
noticed that one day she was very quiet and only popped
her head out when I stretched in to put some food. Her
appetite was much lesser, and her eyes seemed to be
slightly bulging. We took her to the vet and what followed
was a 2 month fight against acute pneumonia and abscesses
round the eye area. Miko was to be given daily injections
of Penicillin-G (antibiotics were given as a last resort
to save her life). This was to be injected into the
area behind her neck where there are lots of skin when
gently pulled up. Baytril couldn't help now, Miko was
too ill.
Dr Ling showed me exactly how to administer the injections.
Trust me, it is very unnerving to inject your own bunny,
I was frightened, what if I hurt her or something went
wrong, worries about the needle poking her into the
flesh made me go weak in the knees, but I had to be
strong for her I had no other choice, I was the only
one at home who knew how to do it. Every morning, there
was a huge battle raging within myself. I was nervous,
and frightened, but I had to put up a calm and brave
self for Miko, least she sensed my nervousness and be
even more nervous herself! Fortunately, Miko was very
brave and a very good, somehow she trusted me with the
needle! But, I was not so lucky while trying to syringe
feed her with medication and food.
There were moments when I really felt angry and impatient
with her, but those feelings always melt away once I
put myself in her shoes, I tell myself to have a cheerful
and patient attitude towards her. Regardless of how
many scratches and kicks she has given, the little one
is afraid, and it is my duty to let her suffer as little
stress as possible. The first few times were difficult,
but subsequently Miko got used to me cradling her like
a baby, or rather, she has grown weaker and hasn't that
much strength to struggle and fight with me during medication
time. I cradled her a lot, not only during medication,
I remember spending the night sleeping on the living
room floor with her, stroking, singing and comforting
her, just like what a mother will do to her sick child.
Because of her Pen-G shots, one of the side effects,
was Miko losing her hair and most of all she stopped
eating.
I was at my wits end. Really, with the help of Kenneth
and Melvin, and after consultations with Dr Ling, I
decided to try Baby Food. It worked. Miko was eating
as much baby food as possible. I think she loves the
apple and banana flavoured ones. Miko loves raisins,
so I bought packets of dried raisins and fed her. Hand
feeding her, I finally realized how a mother would feel
if her child got very sick. Sadly, I found that Miko
now was too weak to even chew her food well. I checked
her teeth, they were just decaying and sort of like
melted down. I called Dr Ling to tell her about Miko's
condition, an appointment was made when Miko didn't
poo. Dr Ling broke the bad news that Miko was beyond
cure, we were shattered, and I started to cry. Dr Ling
stopped the medication. No more jabs for Miko. We left
the clinic with a heavy heart. Back home, I was determined
to make Miko's life more comfortable, she has been spending
time and sleeping together with us in the bedroom. We
took her to the garden, but being too weak, she could
only sit and take a few steps. I took leave to spend
every single waking with Miko, even bath time was spent
with her… she didn't seemed to like the grass very
much, but took to the bathroom and crawled into the
basket to play with whatever little strength she has.
The little green basket became her new toy, she would
stay in there and rocked very gently from side to side.
We were very depressed. We made one last attempt and
went to see Dr Lenny Lee at the Animal Clinic, an x-ray
confirmed that Miko's organs were already failing her.
It got so bad, Miko couldn't control her bowel movements.
Putting her down was the kindest thing that we can do
for her.
I didn't want to play God. I don't give life, so I
wouldn't want and never would dream of taking one away.
That was why I chose to medicate her and try my very
best to cure her despite being told that she was critically
ill, but now, I was left with no choice. A painful decision,
and I guess till this day, the most difficult decision
I have ever made. We fixed a date with Dr Ling. The
last few days with Miko was spent with many pictures
and videos taken, many more extra cuddles, kisses and
endless nights of tears. On the actual day, Miko came
on her own accord, and sat next to me on the floor,
I think she could sense our misery and leaned her little
feeble body against my thighs, sort of like comforting
and telling me that it is ok to let her go. I didn't
want to… I couldn't, I struggled with my feelings,
the pain in my heart, she has become a very large part
of me, taking her away would be like taking my soul,
I know things will never be the same without my little
one. Going home after work knowing that Miko won't be
in the kitchen waiting for me under the table, gently
licking my toes, the thought of not being able to call
her name made my tears flow uncontrollably. I did think
of backing out and just letting her go on her own, but
then again, she would be suffering, and I wouldn't want
to see her in pain.
That day was a bright Saturday afternoon, I wore a
cheery orange to bid farewell to Miko. I made a little
prayer and drove to the clinic with Miko on my lap.
I bumped into Constance at the clinic…. It was
our very first meeting, a rather awkward one but nonetheless,
I was glad she was there. How I wished she would have
met Miko at a better time, a better place, and see what
a lovely girl she is. I wished they had a longer time
with each other. We stayed with Miko during the whole
procedure, she came hopping to us, as if bidding farewell,
we hugged her for the last time and watched her gently
crossing the rainbow bridge.
We left the clinic with a heavy heart, I couldn't stop
the tears from flowing, back home, I faced an empty
cage, Miko didn't finish her raisins, there was still
leftover food. I sat down on the spot where Miko always
like to lie on, it was a spot overlooking our garden,
heartbroken, I slowly cleared and washed her cage, I
took a little gift box and placed her food and water
dishes into it. Later, I went to the garden and gathered
her favourite purple flowers. I opened the shoebox that
we've placed Miko in and placed a small stalk in between
her ears, she looked so pretty and so peaceful, as if
she was sleeping. I closed the box, but couldn't help
but open it again and again to touch and look at her.
We buried her under our big mango tree, a spot where
she loved to hide because it provided a nice shade.
The following days were difficult for us, we were both
trying to cheer each other up, but landed up being more
upset after watching her videos. It was too heartbreaking.
I had a dream about Miko one night, she was so relaxed,
her body stretched out and she was looking at me. I
woke up that morning feeling strange, but somehow more
at peace. The thought of Rainbow Bridge made me feel
better and that at the end of the day, we would be reunited
with our bunny. I think it was Miko's way of telling
me not to be sad and that she was doing well. I suddenly
have this vision of Miko running towards me when it
is my turn to cross the bridge, as described in the
poem about Rainbow Bridge where bunnies and owners reunite.
Even now, sometimes in the evening, while sitting at
the swing, I can still feel Miko's presence and see
fleeting images of her hopping happily from one end
of the garden to other. I still miss Miko very much,
but now the pain is gone as I know my little bunny is
in heaven and having a ball of a time. Although her
physical body is not here, Miko will always be with
us in spirit and she will always have a special place
in our hearts.
Aishiteiru Miko chan (We Love U Miko) 
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